There's beef between my dad and I. Not a strong sense of anger but a hint of discontent. I am not happy with certain ways my father do things and he is not happy with how I do certain things. Things must be let out. And of course, I have also the ulterior purpose of improving my dad's impression of Natalie. In a way, this conversation cannot happen without her. If not for her to confess to me how she and her parents went through certain disagreements and eventual understanding, I wouldn't even think about beginning a conversation such as this one.

Right, beef. A lean, tasty and heaty meat. Tender and juicy when cooked properly, also used to represent unhappiness between people. And my beef with my dad is his anger management issue. Don't mistake what I say, he's improved over the years. He's been learning to suppress it. However, it is not good enough for a good father-in-law. Suppression often may mean stronger sudden outburst, I must address this issue. And knowing how my dad, conflict is nothing but an eventuality. Hell, he wishes spoil me and yet he still gets mad at me sometimes. Despite the large amount of time it may take for such a conflict to arise through careful avoidance, I prefer it pre-addressed completely. Topic started with his driving, largely calm and obedient yet when angered, he tends to cut into people's lane sharply as an annoyance. Compliment good driving skills, talk about my recent accident, show concern towards his health and safety, bring my mom's anger and fear into this topic, question his usually fantastic ability to draw from others' mistakes, provide a step back for his admittance of mistake. Apology accepted but result still not good enough. Reinforce point with his attitude in work, bring in well being of company, unfair nature of human opinions, his obvious emotional flaws and methods to improve, at the same time pledge to assist in certain labor.

After going on for so long about his mistakes, it is time to present my own personality issues. Talkativeness, overly nice, pointlessness and thoughtlessness of certain actions, bring up how issues reflected by Yang, and make dad really impressed with how I have someone who can bring up my weaknesses directly, accurately and then let me accept it.

Finally we went over my pastor in church. Expressed disdain towards my dad's prejudice towards tithe and my church, seek reason, found reasons lying within a particular individual, display anger, complain about my father's "one represents all" mentality, reaffirm lack of similar action within my cell group. For a moment, I felt that maybe I should bring my dad to church to show him how it works. By doing that, he can see for himself how distorted his view is. After some thoughts, I decided to abide my old opinion of not bringing him to church. If I did, he'll probably confront William directly with it which will become a problem that I must resolve. He believed that one single comment so much that he was willing to talk about it for more than 10 times, mock my pastor, hint at me to switch church at every available option, shadow me, listen to me for so long that he can talk about it. I doubt his believe in that one opinion is so easily shaken.

Anyway, this talk must continue. Once is not enough, reinforcement will be required. For it betters my dad's, Natalie's and my own future life. Must mold him into a good, loving boss, dad and father-in-law.

PS: Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, it was a 3 hours long talk and now is 5:28am...

A very... very screwed up day with everything going wrong. Got nothing done but somehow still ended up quite enjoying this.

I am way too tired after an hour or so of tennis so I won't be writing a full post. Maybe I'll do one tomorrow, maybe I will not. Oh well.

2013-03-13, a day to be remembered.

I wrote and rewrote this yet I still find it inadequate to describe what I'm feeling now. Excitement, anxiety, everything at once. I went forward and asked, and she said yes, well, sort of. ;)

Of course, I am overjoyed. Though at the same time, I feel a solemn sense of duty. She has decided to give her best time to me and I do not wish to disappoint. I have stepped out only the first step on the longest journey that I will ever be embarking on, one greatest project. This project requires constant tending and love. It will change me, but I will not become something else. It will change her, but she will always be the one I love. I believe that together, we will end up happy. It may not be a happiness that we can all see right now, but it will be something that we can look back and smile about.

Haven't you hear, my wishes always become true, even thought it often comes in a form I don't expect.

Now the big talks are over, let's get down to day one. Natalie, I will make you happy.

Right... IT show... Complete disappointment. Less of an IT show, more of a home electronics fare. Plenty of laptops, printers and not enough parts. Tons of people with smell of sweat greatly overwhelming that of plastic and silicon, not a place I enjoy. Left there with a rather peculiar head ache of mission half accomplished... I still don't have my graphics card.

Had Cafe Cartel for dinner, and since I didn't bring my camera (for once), no pictures. Food is greatly average, proportion, however, is anything but average! Till now, 3:30am, I feel full, very full... And dinner came early today, at about 5:30pm.

And somehow now I have an aching in my heart... Of all fears and loneliness, my greatest current fear may come true... I am worried but can do nothing about it. And thus, is life.

New faces, old friend, nice day.