May find peace in your accomplishments, a calm haven no matter where you go and end up in.To a family I was fated to dislike. Be it reincarnation, Heaven or hell, or whichever land of death in whichever religion that ended up to be true, I wish you peace there.
Can't sleep... Been talking to Julia and watching some videos recently. And there's the problem with my grandfather. Well, money. I admit that I am not living in a family that lacks it. We are not terribly rich but there isn't anything I want as of now that I cannot afford (well, as long as I don't want anything that's too luxurious). But still, money is a problem. It's not because it's not there or it is there. It's just... It being what it is. People feel that it worth something and they are entitled to a portion of it. They have all the right reasons of course. "Supposed to be mine" usually comes up. There's "the other party is too greedy too". I mean, the amount is not even that large, yet people can just throw away their relationship for it. I don't understand.
Recently, I saw this picture of a diamond ring. Darice is engaged! And I am happy for her. But it made me start thinking about when can I save up for one, when can I offer a girl one. Ok, now I'm 22. Assume I get my masters in 5 years. that's 27-28. Then I get 5k salary. Assuming I spend 2k, save 1k and save the rest, I can save 1.3k after CPF. That's almost a year for a 15k ring. Which translates to engagement at 29 assuming no other major spending.
Hahahaha! Talking about the effect of NS on birthrate. This one right there. I would imagine about 5% of guys gives up the idea of marriage thinking about this (however, they may change their mind due to other events). And after that a house, a car... Getting the big picture yet? You hit 40+ right about then. And don't forget the kids.
Won't be an easy life but I know, everything will turn out right. It is hard to explain but I know it will. Not because of all the Christian theories but I just know. It will be alright.
Recently, I saw this picture of a diamond ring. Darice is engaged! And I am happy for her. But it made me start thinking about when can I save up for one, when can I offer a girl one. Ok, now I'm 22. Assume I get my masters in 5 years. that's 27-28. Then I get 5k salary. Assuming I spend 2k, save 1k and save the rest, I can save 1.3k after CPF. That's almost a year for a 15k ring. Which translates to engagement at 29 assuming no other major spending.
Hahahaha! Talking about the effect of NS on birthrate. This one right there. I would imagine about 5% of guys gives up the idea of marriage thinking about this (however, they may change their mind due to other events). And after that a house, a car... Getting the big picture yet? You hit 40+ right about then. And don't forget the kids.
Won't be an easy life but I know, everything will turn out right. It is hard to explain but I know it will. Not because of all the Christian theories but I just know. It will be alright.
What do you do when you lose faith in yourself? I usually talk to my parents, pray and listen to music. Talking to parents is not a long term solution. They are human. They won't be always there for me or be always patient enough to listen to me. I can't take that as granted. Praying yields strange result. While God has always provide me with answers, part of me just refuse to believe it. Though it is just a very small part of me, this internal conflict still drives me crazy. It whispers all the things I'm trying to stuck away. It says I'm weak, cannot be relied on. It says I'm useless, not worthy to be walking along those who are radiant. And music is like drugs, very temporary.
Right now, I am combining the three to achieve the best effect. But without something better, I don't know how long these can last. Though I guess I'm also ignoring the temporary nature of life. This just makes life feel more and more like a game in which you need to keep up the "Happiness" meter... Hahahahaha!
Right now, I am combining the three to achieve the best effect. But without something better, I don't know how long these can last. Though I guess I'm also ignoring the temporary nature of life. This just makes life feel more and more like a game in which you need to keep up the "Happiness" meter... Hahahahaha!
Not really in a great shape and definitely not in a great mood right now. I try to hold things I feel within me but sometimes, outside forces pushes against me and they spill. It's nobody's force but my own. And this place is often the overflow room. Aren't you guys glad?! Hahahahaha!
Anyway, I enjoyed today's dinner. It was... A surprise.
Anyway, I enjoyed today's dinner. It was... A surprise.
It is a bell the waiters use to inform you that your food is ready. Pretty neat!
This is what I get. A few strips of bacon, plenty of brie (one of the few types of cheese I know how to appreciate) and whole meal bread. Doesn't seem much but it's really filling. Taste is not out of the roof but decent. Price is a bit too high for what I get (about $15) but I guess that's what I kind of expected. Presentation is really nice and it comes in a heart shape... o_0
The coffee is quite nice, not very strong (perhaps because I got the ice blended version) but rather... comforting. It feels like alcohol, makes you forget your problems, but only for a while.
Overall, it's a nice meal. I thought it wasn't enough but it's actually quite filling. Though it's still more of a desert place than a place for dinner. A nice place for old friends to catch up. Seems to cater for couples too (the flowers and heart-shaped bread) but the ambiance is not nearly private enough for that purpose.
Why remind me? The names, the time, the happiness... It was supposed to be forgotten, forever. But it creeps up. It creeps up to us all! We are rational beings. We try to rationalize every experience, every event. But we forget that this world cannot be rationalized. For God's sake, He created the world! If we can rationalize everything, won't we be as great as He? Yet we still try, I still try...
Maybe that is, sin.
Or maybe I'm just crazy!!! Muahahahahahahaha!
Maybe that is, sin.
Or maybe I'm just crazy!!! Muahahahahahahaha!