Can't sleep. After doing some homework, writing something seems like the natural choice. School has started for almost three weeks. To us who has no art background, it is like one difficult job after another with increasing difficulty. While my heart would love to falter, everything else fought against it.

I once told myself that I would give up many things in exchange for doing something I like. Now's my chance, why would I ever give it up?

My dear girlfriend has been extremely understanding. Though she too has a schedule packed to the brim, she squeeze time out so she can suit my schedule. How can I give up when she believe so much in me?

My parents have been really understanding this time as well. No more forced ideas from my father. Much fewer negative encouragements from my mom. I may not get another time like this, I can't prove them wrong.

And finally, perhaps most importantly, a promise from Him. Answer when I call and you can go forth to conquer anything. There is no way I can fail as long as I endure.

Of course, all of those who suffer together with me in their own different ways in university. They have all been my support in one way or another.

I love you, my girl! I thank you, my parents. And I will answer your call, God. I may not take a leap of faith perfectly as you asked me to every time, but I will push myself for sure.

With every step, I go further. I will be there, where happiness, success and fulfillment collide. Hahahahahahahaha!

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride, rather literally so too. Hm... Roller coaster is one of those things I have little opinions about. You see, I don't really feel adrenaline so the excitement factor was definitely not there. But it is interesting. You feel genuinely "threatened". I can tell that my fight or flight response was ready to go and that alone is unique. But the moment you touch solid ground, the gap between the reality that you are safe hits you and that sense of heightened response fades. However, I have yet to try the more exciting Battlestar Galactica. Looking at the roller coaster itself, I was honestly a little frightened. The turns and twists look like they'll probably cause me to regurgitate whatever I had before that... Must take note.

After that was an emotional roller coaster ride. A number of factors played a part. Fear and uncertainty over university life. Continued lack of a common ground on certain issues with parents. Self-loathing. The list goes on. All that and the occasional happiness from things all around me placed a rather sizable strain on my mind. I was simply not sure what I could do.

Alas, things didn't get better. I simply learned to cope. God has been kind to me. So are my parents and my 笑儿. They are my unicorns, sunshine and bunnies. There are still a great many things to worry about, and I am definitely not prepared for them. But at least, I know I'll pull through.

Time to sleep!

It has been a long time since I last done an event recording. And the reason is simple, I'm too happy. Yep, events that started happy and ended happy aren't often that interesting to write about since I was too busy enjoying the happiness instead of thinking about what to write later. Anyway.

Went to many places with Xiao Qi. Hm... Perhaps I should write Natalie when I'm using English, Xiao Qi  seems weird. Every single time was a blast (or a kiss, or many kisses)! We had a long chat the other day and we were both surprised by how similar our worries are. Our views about life, relationships and a great other things. It is comforting to find someone whose thoughts overlap mine. It is good to know that there is someone who can understand me, and she is the one I fell in love with. I never thought it was possible to meet someone like that.

Also wish to thank her for coming to church with me. My church is one that is currently under crisis. While I firmly believe that the truth is in our favor, I can't force others to believe the same. When even my parents questions the righteousness of my church, I felt weak. I still believe in God but I was no longer sure if I was making the right choices. And I know, He wouldn't intervene in my choices. He simply believes in me. As my faith is at its weakest, she stepped in and kept it strong. It was more than what I could ever ask for.

Liangyang is leaving soon. While a tiny little sad, I wish him all the best. It's not like he's not coming back. He's under contract with army/law/whatever he agreed to sell himself to. So he'll probably go to jail if he were to not come back. I just hope our group to hold strong while he is gone. Well, I'm sure it will. We have  way too long a history.

School's starting. University. Not too sure what to expect. Continuously being bombarded by claims of high intensity of the program from many channels, seniors, teachers, internet. I am actually a little fearful. Well, it is what I love. It is what I'm good at. It is what I'll work hard for. So no worries I guess. I will walk tall (and have no life)!

And something just for laughter. The amount of fail in this is... UNHUMAN!


I seem to have developed this habit of remembering things with photographs. Without them, I can hardly recall my outing with people sometimes. And with them, I somehow remember every detail. It is almost as if my camera has become the window of my soul and my mind. Wonder if that is a good thing.

The first batch was pretty screwed...
Your perfect husband doing what he's supposed to do.
Second batch was awesome!