This is a silent encouragement to Julia Sim, a prayer and a promise that she will make it through whatever she's going through right now. Jia you!

And it is also a reassurance to myself that I will make it through the next 4 days...

Changed a little bit of the blog, merged some categories for easy viewing. Mm... Enjoy.

Stress level over 9000... But I will manage. In fact, I can still spare some time for other stuff now (like writing this entry or help tuition someone or help in someone's project or even play a game). It is these other stuff that are helping me to hold on right now, to give me the little joy that helps me moving forward. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, going to CGC training later... Not sure what to expect. To be honest, I wish it is not some sort of leadership training thingy. I wish not to be a leader but just a doer. If it comes to my attention that my leadership is necessary, I will lead. But most of the time, I prefer find someone who is more capable and just act in the dark. It is much easier to function without the branding of a leader on top of your head.

Anyway, I will bring a heart of expectancy and see for myself what it's like. Take what's useful to me and toss the rest. Heh...

Stressed... Really stressed... For once in my life I somewhat wish to lay dead rather than being this busy. But hey, lots to do, no time to be stressed out just yet. But if you are reading this, can you just help me to pray a little? Send up a prayer that helps me to hold on.

Sometimes, I just love to observe how He moves.

I just love it when I observe miracles outside of the church setting, especially in places where I don't expect them to happen, like today on MRT.

At one of the stops, there was this old man. He's obviously tired and couldn't handle the movement of the train. He was looking around for a seat but no one wanted to give theirs to him. He eventually just stood in front of this young man who looked up a few times but didn't seem to really care. For the next ten min or so, he looked up a few times, then went back bothering his own business. If I had a seat then, I would definitely gave it up. Anyway, I went on to pray for this old man. It was just one of those 5 second prayer and I didn't expect anything to happen. And then I turned my head towards the outside to look at the scenery (or the lack of it since the train was in a tunnel...).

When I turned my head back, the old man and young man swapped places! Somehow, that young man gave up his seat after not caring for so long. I was quite content and gave a prayer of thanks wishing him to be blessed. Then the next stop came and he find another seat to rest on.

Though it's quite a small matter, I find great comfort in it just like how He has promised that every sermon I attend, no matter the speaker or whether I fall asleep or not, I will always hear something that applies to me. He has kept this promise for really long. Sometimes, I was only awake for 5 min and I heard that one thing which is useful to me in the entire sermon. Amazing!

Anyway, another tiring day... Going to be more tired but I am ready and I am excited!

Experience and pressure are really amazing things. My current translation rate is like 10 times of that few months back...

A little of self-motivation always help no matter how bleak the situation maybe. So...

I WILL SURVIVE! RAH!

Done.

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Anyway, looking back, has there been even once that the situation I'm in is not bleak? Nope there has never been. By his blessing, I've always come through, one way or another, by His blessing and my effort. This time will too.

Some music that touched me today:

I must admit that I need someone to be with me. My parents have both left Singapore and I can hardly keep up with this sense of loneliness. I am not emotional because of it but I do wish to have someone to talk to very badly. I think I'm vain. I want to talk to people, show my ability and impress them. I think it's just part of me. Not always good but it is impossible to hold it back all the time.

Anyway, attended church for the first time in the last half a month and I refreshed the reason for me to believe in Him. He has been faithful to all His promises thus far and has really blessed my life with things I couldn't have imagine.

Back to work.

Grabbed some R&R time to play Mass Effect 3 today. While 3 received the worst score out of the trilogy, I like it the best so far. It lets you feel the consequences of everything you've done up to now. It is like life, seeing things unfolding without the power to control it. While irritating at times (as many complains, it is near impossible to achieve a "perfect" outcome), it reflects what we really are. We are not perfect; we make mistakes; we hurt ourselves and others.

Things happened in camp recently. I was hoping it would turn out better but he chose to get on everyone's nerves. Well, I guess I will let him be. Maybe, just maybe, this is the "unfairness of life". Then again, he chose to accept and get the worst of it. There is nothing I can do. And I think I've been trying a little too hard to make this place "perfect" and forgot that perfection is impossible. Will back down a little and observe more.

Oh and the photo of the place where I last ate. Expensive, doesn't taste fantastic but the cooks do put up a reasonably fantastic show.

Just spent quite some time in camp, sleeping, mostly. Had a lot of time to do my translation, and a lot of time to reflect upon myself. Had fantastic dreams of togetherness, happiness but also a sense of loss, longing for old friends. Thanked Him many times for this wholesome experience (even though there are some not so wholesome things dotted here and there). I guess few can say that he/she has had a complete life at an age like mine. Or maybe it's not even near completion. So much to see. So much to feel!

There are a few people that I miss particularly right now. People I loved, people I wish and would be happy to spend a life with. Unfortunately, it is to be decided that I can't spend my life with them (at least not for now). I just wish to use this opportunity to express my appreciation for them for bringing me through a part of my life. If any of them need assistance in any form, I would definitely help to the best of my abilities. Hahahahahahaha! I won't list down those people as the list is rather long. But you should know who you are, you should.

Went out for dinner with Dad. The restaurant is rather expensive and tastes just average. Not worth noting. However, I got a few shots done and I'll upload it another time.

Anyway, some text I saw today that I thought was rather meaningful and related to what I talked about above. It is sort of a life philosophy, a way to treat life itself. I don't agree with it totally but I am moved by its content. Oh and I agree more to its way of treating friendship rather than its way of treating love. If I were to treat love the way it says I should, I would be a really lonely person indeed. No pain, no gain. No hurt, and you won't be loved either. Here it is:

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I decided to delete them in the end. Some texts are meant to trigger a certain type of emotion. I don't want to those emotions to be triggered in you because after reading them, you really start to feel old...