Nothing cheers me up like a good old table of meat. Not particularly a meat lover myself but eating that stuff can be satisfying, probably some ancient mechanism to encourage hunting behavior. Anyway, feel totally cheered up now. Poor at portrait? That only means more practice! Street photography next week with David! Challenge: Who can be the weirdest weirdo on Orchard Road (Holding a camera)! WOOHOO!
I failed to realize again. Worst fear is usually reality. I should have turned back. I should have polished my skills more. I am still not ready to capture people. Why did I see, that I am still just a beginner. Why did I even try to capture the beauty of others?
Going to stop working with people for now. I started this journey staring at things, not people. And rightfully I should continue looking at things.
Then this sudden realization hit me: I grew up. Though I'm venting my frustration here, I don't feel sad at all. I understand.
Hahahaha... So that's the lesson of my 21st? Just like what you said. Expect everything in life but don't expect anything from it. What you believe is a job well done may just be a total screw up in others' eyes. Does it mean that I should give up my dream too? How would I know that my "help" won't be another's "trouble"?
No, I'm not going back to there again.
Going to stop working with people for now. I started this journey staring at things, not people. And rightfully I should continue looking at things.
Then this sudden realization hit me: I grew up. Though I'm venting my frustration here, I don't feel sad at all. I understand.
Hahahaha... So that's the lesson of my 21st? Just like what you said. Expect everything in life but don't expect anything from it. What you believe is a job well done may just be a total screw up in others' eyes. Does it mean that I should give up my dream too? How would I know that my "help" won't be another's "trouble"?
No, I'm not going back to there again.
Just want to thank all of you who become part of my 21st birthday. The book is really really well done and I love it.
To be very very honest, I never for a moment considered myself to be a good photographer. I am always afraid. I fear that my pictures are unsatisfactory. I fear that my pictures fail to show the true beauty all of you possess. All of you are so bright in my eyes, full of beauty, wisdom, fun, everything.
It's this fear that pushes me forward. No, it's not only fear. I work hard because I want to capture each of you in your full glory before I no longer have the chance to just like so many times before. It's ok. I will continue to learn and surely one day I can capture each of you in your full beauty.
All the best to myself! Hahahahahahahaha!
Merry Christmas & happy new year. Wish all of you a fantastic year ahead.
Eunice: Yep, the album is really nice. And your job next year will be to convince everyone to smile more... ESPECIALLY TOWARDS MY CAMERA!
William + Xinlian: It's a great joy to have you as my leaders too! And I've already been blessed beyond my wildest dream. You all are a blessing so great to me that I dare not ask for more.
Fiona: Yep, wish to know you better too!
Julia: Sometimes I think I see His plan for me, then some other time He seems to do things beyond my wildest expectations. All that I can say right now is that He has a fantastic plan for me. And that He has a fantastic plan for you, for all of us. May God's hand be upon us all. :)
Jeremy|cruse: Thank you. Hahahahahaha!
Eric: I'm glad to have you as my brother in Christ too.
Shenyu: NS days are well, nowhere near that end and have zero stress on me. :) And I know my 21st year walking on this little rock will be fantastic. Wish you a wonderful 18th too!
Ivan: And I will be a better 'IT'. Trust me.
Renshen: You used one of my favorite quotes. And that's awesome!
To be very very honest, I never for a moment considered myself to be a good photographer. I am always afraid. I fear that my pictures are unsatisfactory. I fear that my pictures fail to show the true beauty all of you possess. All of you are so bright in my eyes, full of beauty, wisdom, fun, everything.
It's this fear that pushes me forward. No, it's not only fear. I work hard because I want to capture each of you in your full glory before I no longer have the chance to just like so many times before. It's ok. I will continue to learn and surely one day I can capture each of you in your full beauty.
All the best to myself! Hahahahahahahaha!
Merry Christmas & happy new year. Wish all of you a fantastic year ahead.
Eunice: Yep, the album is really nice. And your job next year will be to convince everyone to smile more... ESPECIALLY TOWARDS MY CAMERA!
William + Xinlian: It's a great joy to have you as my leaders too! And I've already been blessed beyond my wildest dream. You all are a blessing so great to me that I dare not ask for more.
Fiona: Yep, wish to know you better too!
Julia: Sometimes I think I see His plan for me, then some other time He seems to do things beyond my wildest expectations. All that I can say right now is that He has a fantastic plan for me. And that He has a fantastic plan for you, for all of us. May God's hand be upon us all. :)
Jeremy|cruse: Thank you. Hahahahahaha!
Eric: I'm glad to have you as my brother in Christ too.
Shenyu: NS days are well, nowhere near that end and have zero stress on me. :) And I know my 21st year walking on this little rock will be fantastic. Wish you a wonderful 18th too!
Ivan: And I will be a better 'IT'. Trust me.
Renshen: You used one of my favorite quotes. And that's awesome!
Whenever I am weary of this world, I go and listen to this song. "Seeking faith and speaking words that I'd never known I'd said..."
Lord... I beg you... Make me believe in my work. Guide me by my hand so I know it is from You and so I can continue walking despite the storm against it. Oh... Please... I believe in miracles because I believe in You. I believe that my strength is weak in front of You so it can be stronger and You can make my weakness my strength. All I need is that feeling, that feeling that You are behind me wherever I am, that nothing can stand in my way because You are with me. Oh Lord, bless those who are around me and make me a blessing to them. Give them the capacity to raise one another up and not put one another down. Give me the power to heal broken relationships and not to watch them get broken further.
And finally, a selfish prayer for myself. To have someone who can understand this me who can't be understood. To let me see that person, whoever she is. And grant me the ability to understand her.
And thanks in advance.
Amen. †
I find myself craving for faces today. The emotions, the feelings, the figure, the poster, the moment. It's like a drug. The catch light, the smirk at corner of his mouth, the soft smile on her lips, the fringes, nothing can compare to the feeling of capturing those moments on a photo.
Anyway, been talking about life with a few people lately. One of them nearly made me decide to move out of my position as an observer. I took a tiny step forward but nothing happened so I moved back to where I was. But with what I saw, I can never be a true observer again. "If you don't jump, how would you know that you can fly?" I jumped. I didn't fall or fly. I just float there. It's ok, I'll be even more active soon. An active observer... Seems like an interesting idea.
I also began to realize my role as an observer. To capture beauty and through this beauty, somehow empower others. It's needs skill and talent, which will probably take years for me to accumulate. But at least now I know where I want to go as a photographer. It's time to move!
Anyway, been talking about life with a few people lately. One of them nearly made me decide to move out of my position as an observer. I took a tiny step forward but nothing happened so I moved back to where I was. But with what I saw, I can never be a true observer again. "If you don't jump, how would you know that you can fly?" I jumped. I didn't fall or fly. I just float there. It's ok, I'll be even more active soon. An active observer... Seems like an interesting idea.
I also began to realize my role as an observer. To capture beauty and through this beauty, somehow empower others. It's needs skill and talent, which will probably take years for me to accumulate. But at least now I know where I want to go as a photographer. It's time to move!