I am entirely certain why, but I suddenly find myself extremely narcissistic. I take pictures of others; I believe I'm good at it; I believe that as long as the pictures are nice, people would like them. But on the way back from today's outing, a random thought suddenly strike me: do others even want their pictures? Do they even want their most beautiful moment captured?
I wished to capture "beauty". I see so much fantastic beauty in everything around me. It is not just the beauty in their look, the faces, the surfaces, the textures, the expressions, the lighting. There is just SO MUCH MORE! The feelings, the bond... The extreme happiness of reunion, the overwhelming sadness of parting, the traces loneliness of travelling. There is just so much that I wish to capture. I wish them to last. Maybe I won't feel so sad when a friend departs because I have captured his happiness along with my pictures. Maybe I won't feel so alone at night because they are all with me somewhere.
But in all that, I forgot about what I learned in physics, in the uncertainty principle, that things change when observed. Smiles aren't as wide when observed, neither are tears as sorrowful. Every goodbye will not become a smile because there's a picture. Loneliness will not become anymore bearable too.
Maybe life just isn't meant to be recorded. Maybe... Just maybe......... I should quit photography. Ha... My stupid perfectionism. When you realized that you can never achieve something, give up.
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No. I won't give up. I gave up on so many things before. I regret some of them. Not because people claim that I would have achieved SO MUCH MORE if I kept on. I regret because in the process of giving up, I sometimes hurt people's feelings. Those that of my parents, my friends, of people I know or used to know. I guess I shouldn't give up. I should keep on doing this. I believe in the end, there is a purpose, a purpose higher than that of my own. I believe, I hope that through my pictures, I can help people. It may be in a way that I won't know. God works in mysterious ways after all.
Hahahahahaha! So much words and I have yet to talk about the movie I watched. It is a story about social caste and how love can breach it. Not a particular movie that I will be usually interested in. Still, its solid central idea and decent execution made it a decent watch.
Alright! Finally, today's pictures! Click to enlarge.
Categories:
Food,
Life,
Photography,
Rant