Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

Anton Chekhov, one of the greatest Russian writer once said this. And I can't express just how much I agree with him.

I've been through a few crisis, the type with my future on the line. I managed to overcome them... Heh, more precisely speaking, I outlived most of them instead of beating them head on. But still, none defeated me. No matter how bad it was then, when I looked back, I find them meaningful. However, I think right now, I am on the verge of being defeated by day to day life. My life is not horrible, in fact, it's both joyous and peaceful. I am blessed and fortunate; I have what I need; I am progressing forward. Yet every once in a while, I just feel so useless and so disappointed in myself.

I try my best to be nice to others, even those who are not nice to me. Yet, because of their hostile actions towards me, they are hurting themselves. I try my best to help others. Yet there are so many who are beyond my ability. I believe so deeply that I know what I want and what I am going to do. Yet when I look at it more closely, I realize that my belief is empty, hollow. Why do I believe in God? Why do I want to become an architect? Why do I believe that I like this person and dislike the other? Why do I believe that I can be who I want to be? Why do believe that I want to love and be loved? Why do I even believe in myself? This stupid, crazy, ugly shell called "me". Too many questions, not enough answers! Programming dictate action!

I wish to know! So please... Tell me.